The Lecter Files

Just in time for the sequel, and due to popular request (actually just one person) I am posting part of my English ISP including CD contents (not all the songs I like, they just relate to the book), lyrics to Lecterman, poems, and a film review of the parody "Silence of the Hams".  I hope you enjoy my work from two years ago, I sure do looking back at it!
I have taken the exact files and edited for html, so it's not exactly the same, but close.


 On this disk you will find a variety of songs relating to Silence of the Lambs.  These songs were individually picked for various reasons which reflect either emotions (of characters or the reader), moods, a character’s traits or actions, themes, ideas, or topics in the novel.
 The first track is somewhat different from the rest.  This first song was written (lyrics, not music), performed, recorded, edited, compiled, and produced by me.  I would like to give thanks and credit to my friends who helped during the production.  This song entitled “Lecter Man” uses music from the song “Iron Man” (track two), written by Black Sabbath. “Lecter Man” tells the story of Silence of the Lambs.  Knowing the story itself may assist in understanding the song, if not making it more enjoyable to listen to.  The lyrics (attached), you may notice, have almost identical rhythm and rhyme patterns to keep it consistent with the original “Iron Man”.

Please feel free to sing along with the CD.

 I apologize in advance for any offensive lyrics on the CD.  I have selected and reviewed the songs carefully to minimize any offensive material.  Explicit lyrics from the final track have been edited and removed for your enjoyment, and to protect your virgin ears.
 Attached is a playlist of song titles, artists, and the reason (or reasons) why they were selected for this compilation.
(Playlist ommited to conserve space available on request.)

Lecter Man

Has he lost his mind?   Why is he harvesting girly rind?
Will he kill them all,    Before Miggs thrusts him to the wall?

Is she live or dead?   What will happen to her head?
Lecter’ll just leave her there.  Why should he even care?

Lecter was put in steel,  After making Raspail his meal.
Now Lecter traveled time,  For the future of mankind.

Everyone wants him,   He just laughs at the world.
Planning his vengeance,  That he will soon unfurl.

Now the time is here,   For the cannibal to spread fear.
Vengeance from the grave,  Kills all the people, none saved.

Nobody wants him,   So he hacks off their heads.
Nobody helps him,   He just skins them dead.

Heavy bolts of lead,   Fill Jame Gumb in the head.
Running as fast as he can,  Hannibal Lecter lives again.

A Collection of Lecter’s Lyrical Limericks

 The following poems are written from the point of view of Dr. Hannibal Lecter.  Limericks were chosen because they are usually humorous and Dr. Lecter is known for his deranged sense of humour.  Dr. Lecter is both brilliant and twisted.  He enjoys evil while at the same time is compassionate.  These conflicting views go well in a limerick which is amusing and disturbed, such as the following “Collection of Lecter’s Lyrical Limericks”.

I once knew of a man named Jame,
They all came and asked for his name
I slew them halfhearted,
Two officers hence departed
And now it seems I run this game!

I once had a patient: Raspail
His lovers were undoubtably male
He introduced me to Gumb
I ate Raspail’s tongue
And now in Gumb’s arms she doth flail

There once was a woman named Starling,
Oh, she was ever so darling
I lent her some clues,
Now she’ll pay me her dues,
Or the sheep will come back a‘gnarling!

There once was an FBI chief
I caused agent Crawford much grief
His subordinate I killed,
Then I had him milled
And served him for diner as beef

There once was a doctor named Chilton
His hospital, not exactly the Hilton
He transferred me kindly,
Or rather quite blindly
Soon comes the day he’ll start siltin’

And now that this endeavor has ended,
There are still many threads to be mended!
My friend Chilton is one,
(It will be so much fun!)
He be best not left unattended.

I thought about writing a book,
Of all the things I love to cook:
Broiled buttocks and thigh,
Smoked earlobe on rye,
And of course rack of man on a hook

Film Review: The Silence of the Hams

 A slightly palatable comedy-thriller (minus any thrill), The Silence of the Hams is a take off partly of The Silence of the Lambs (by Thomas Harris), and partly of Psycho (by Alfred Hitchcock), and also contains tidbits of Dracula.  Even before the opening scene, 30th Century Wolf Productions mocks a well known rival.
 Set in California, - although, at times it seems like Venice - the film’s main attraction is Jo Dee Fostar, played by Billy Zane.  This character mimics Clarice Starling, the character played by Jodie Foster in the Silence of the Lambs.  Jo is an FBI trainee who is sent on a special mission to interview a convicted serial killer, Dr. Animal Cannibal Pizza (Dom Deluise).  Captain Pete Putrid (Stuart Pankin), Fostar’s boss, requires input from Dr. Animal to capture the Psycho Killer.  A headline hanging in Captain Putrid’s office reads, “Psycho Killer kills 120th victim - is he serious?”

 The story really only starts when Jo Dee’s lover, Jane (Charlene Tilton), steals four hundred thousand dollars from her boss, Mr. Laurel (Rip Taylor).  Jane travels to the Cemetery Motel, where she stays under the watchful eye of Antonio Mortell (played by Ezio Greggio, who is the motel keeper), while on the lam (or rather on the ham!)
The story is full of bad puns, cheap jokes, and shockingly horrid adaptations of the Silence of the Lambs and Psycho.  Add in a private investigator, Jane’s sister, Antonio’s mother, a ranger (played by the Adams Family’s John Astin), and an array of other actors, and you get an awful mess with a great cast!

 In addition to playing the role of Antonio, Ezio Greggio wrote, directed and co-produced this dandy delight.  The part of Dr. Animal is well played, but the script and plot are lacking substance.  The title, the Silence of the Hams, originates with Jo Dee’s terrifying dream of very silent hams, and as Dr. Animal says, “Yes, hams can be very silent.  Unless they are falling down stairs.  Then they go ‘Thump, diddle de bump, bump, thud!”
There are a few lines thrown in for fun from other blockbuster hits, such as, “Asta la Bébé vista!” and “I’ll be back.”  A few lines were also taken directly out of the Silence of the Lambs and used where you would expect them.  The narration by Antonio Mortell adds a certain humour to the movie.  Sounding like Dracula, he tells the story of why and how he was stabbed and killed.  How was he alive to Narrate?  He wasn’t really dead, or was he?

 Ezio even takes a stab at his own movie with one of the funnier lines.  Alfred Hitchcock enters with a knife to kill Antonio and he (the narrator) says, “...or maybe it’s Alfred Hitchcock coming back from the dead to kill me so I stop fu**ing up his movies!”  Parodies are rarely better than the original, but it does not even come close compared to Space Balls.

 Overall, there are a handful of amusing lines, and the soundtrack fits the mood exquisitely.  D. Fuller was responsible for the music which included a spoof of a Michael Jackson music video featuring zombies, and of course the “RE, RE, RE,” of the Psycho shower scene.  If you are planning on witnessing this movie, prepare to laugh (or at least fake it.).  But don’t worry, this flick is only just over eighty minutes, but boy doesn’t it feel like an eternity in hell!